Headshot in SF
Yesterday I said I wasn’t really into resolutions, but in a round about way, I do actually form a few resolutions, but they are held loosely because I know from experience how often those resolutions change form and direction.
I had a lot of issues with internal boundaries last year, in fact, I think it goes farther back. As an online business owner, it’s easy to lose track of time, forget to eat and exercise. Yes! I do forget to eat! I’m passionate about social media and I love to read, I actually lose my appetite!
But as I am heading to age 47 – well, I’m having a hard time saying I’m going to be 47, because it feels so foreign. I feel like I’m in my 30′s until I look into the mirror (after taking a shower) and it’s a whole nother story! Hence, time to act upon “those resolutions”
What motivates me this time is that I can visualize the benefits of working towards resolutions – because what I’m really doing here is learning a new way of living and creating better habits that will affect my husband, family, neighbors and friends.
Here’s Resolution #1
- Form healthy boundaries within myself :
a light bulb went off last summer. I overspent on money and over gave of my time, resources, and energy, then I would end up feeling depleted, unappreciated and discouraged. Don’t get me wrong, I do not expect to get extra stars for being generous. I am referring to my nature of being a giver, nurturer, helper. When I meet people socially and they begin to talk to me about their lives, work, and issues, my mind and heart begin to spin into “help” mode. I haven’t received any complaints about this trait, except my own inner voice that says I need to balance that part of me better, that I don’t need to foot the bill all the time nor do I need to put myself in situations to foot the bill (mentally, financially, physically). As far as feeling depleted/unappreciated and discouraged – well, some people are takers without a thought of the energy behind my giving. They have a stingy spirit, or a scarcity mentality. If they’re not sizing me up physically, they are doing it in other ways, my giving isn’t really ever enough, almost like to them I just “didn’t give enough”. I realize that my boundaries will be respected when I start to respect and honor MY OWN boundaries within. I also know that if someone has unrealistic expectations of me, I don’t need to agree to it, and saying No actually gives me the confidence in honoring myself, and reinforces those boundaries.
Lesson: There is a time to give, a time to pitch in, a time to do nothing, my value and worth is the same regardless of how much I give.
